Can't Say I Didn't Try;

**Saviour - Lights**
**[MUSIC BLOG: most of my blogs are typically written with a single influential background song that is played on repeat, so to get the full effect, play the song in the background while reading the blog.]**

First off, the music isn't really anything deep other than the fact that I saw Owl City tonight, and Lights was the opening band. Might I say, they were amazing as was Owl City. Before both bands was Paper Route too. :) All three bands were awesome live. (P.S. this was my first ever concert, i know >< )

But to move onto the blog, since it must be done, I decided on the way home from the concert. Have you ever wanted something? So bad you couldn't stand it. Ever felt like a donkey with a carrot, like there was something you could have that was so friggin' close yet you still couldn't have it. I must say the feeling is so powerful and intense, and at the same time it sucks, so much.

Ever wanted to say something, express how you feel, but seriously cannot find the right words or explanation. Like it's something that only your mind experiences and never your eyes. Those feelings we all experience that slam into the pit of your stomach; the one's that everyone else see as pathetic, and the one's that everyone else see as you just being weird, obsessive, or just plain crazy.

Those feelings that can take your stomach and flip it three-sixty. Yeahhh, they're intense, and one of the rough parts of life. It's equivalent to teething. The simple concept of a tooth breaking through your gums is definitely pain, but why do babies push toys against their gums, or why do we do it when we have our back teeth growing in? Why? Because even though it's painful, at the very same time, it feels really good.

That's the closest I can get to explaining this inner-feelings I'm speaking of. The one's that you know hurt, and the one's you just know are not going to be a good idea later, but you cease to accept that and just make it feel good at that very moment. In a way, we become selfish to ourselves if that makes any sense at all. We tend to be ignorant to the way we might feel later, and do what makes us happy at a given moment. We completely disregard how it'll affect us later. We forget we have other feelings, and become selfish to a particular moment. Paradoxical to a point. heh. ''/

With that, I had a combating view. Once again, contradicting myself, I want to discuss the feeling you get when you make the "bad choice" you regret later. Simply, it's all about; taking chances. There's a complete other side of the coin in thought when you're making a decision. You start to consider all the possible outcomes and think of things that could come out of your final decision, the one you really want to go with. And it quickly begins to motivate you and give you almost a cause for your actions or decisions. It's what we blame our benign thoughts on. We finally convince ourselves that if we don't take this "once in a lifetime chance" not only are we missing out on an amazing opportunity, but we will only regret NOT doing it later. We figure, if it turns out negatively, at least we tried. Ironically, it's that SAME attitude that gets us in trouble.

It's all about being torn, but by the cause of your own actions, thoughts, and decisions.

I guess it's part of living, part of growing, part of learning;

;part of life.